Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
