xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize