Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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