I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize