My brain says no but my pants say off.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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