Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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