that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize