I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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