I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
