I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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