Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
