You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
