um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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