i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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