What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize