There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
