Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
