Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
