New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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