just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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