At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Come see our sink grown plant.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
