Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
