who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found puke in my bra..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
