this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
