Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
