just tell him i said nine months
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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