I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
