That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
