i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize