Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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