In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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