It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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