Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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