Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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