dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
