i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
porn star boner night. come get it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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