you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
