we have officially lost it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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