I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize