i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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