I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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