His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you made out with another girl for some wings
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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