This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
