shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
