im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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