Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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