he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
