Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
