Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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