If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
