Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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