Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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