The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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