I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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