soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
