you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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