is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
