we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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