I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
