at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
