they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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