She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
