you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
