There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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