I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
