I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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