how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
