If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize