you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
