I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
there's paper in my vomit.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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