The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
