Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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