That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I understand Curling. That high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
