Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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