There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we're so committed to being not committed
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
