what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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