Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
